Calm Before The Storm

So here it is just hours before I'm set to get up to start moving back into my dorm room and I'm still awake (shocker there). My mom already started crying a week ago, possibly even before that. I hate leaving her, I wish I could stay a teenager and forever live in her house as a child because I know she would love nothing more, but I can't. In just a couple months I'll be 20, out of my teen years forever. I want to grow up, I don't have a Peter Pan complex, I just hate seeing my mother cry. I hope she knows that I love her and I can't stand it when I can't walk downstairs and talk to her face to face when I want. I have a bad feeling that this year in school is going to be a lonely one for me because there were quite a few bridges burned last semester before the summer. I have no desire to repair them. So I'm going to have to find new friends and maybe just maybe I'll pull my head out of my ass long enough to find a boyfriend. It's a strange feeling I have tonight, I'm happy to be going into my sophomore year, sad to be leaving home, and angry because I have to put up with the girls that weren't there for me when I needed them. Should be fun times.