Jazzed

I got my own room today. I'm moving out of the double an into a quad. That means I'll still have to share a bathroom with 1 other girl and a common room with 3 but I'll have my own room. I met one of the girls today and she was very nice. I can't even express how happy I am. My mom is coming down to help me move and my friends are going to help too. I can't wait until I move in. This year is going to go a lot easier for me now that I have my own space.

Is It Another Dead End?

They're still not sure who killed her. I'm wondering if they ever will be.

Emmy Winners

Well, the Emmy's ended up being pretty good. Mostly because of Conan and because Tony Shalhoub won in his category. Award shows can always be better for example: they could nominate a specific person that deserves to be nominated (see previous post).

Emmy Nominees

These are the Emmy nominees. I want to know why Vincent D'Onofrio has been overlooked again. At least Tony Shalhoub and Hugh Laurie have been nominated. But seriously they need to nominate Vincent already! The actors on SVU get nominated and I think they're good but they're not as good as Vincent. Anyway, the Emmy's are on tonight and they are being hosted by Conan O'Brien, so they won't be too bad even if I disagree with a particular nomination(or lack thereof).

Suggested Reading

In my personal opinion this is the greatest play ever written. I am actually going to see it performed sometime later this fall and I am very excited.

I'm Home

Since my college is only 57 miles away from my house I'm able to come home Friday afternoons and stay until Sunday nights. This makes my mother very happy. I wonder what would have happened if I had went to college in Boston. It is good to come home and be able to sleep in my own bed in my own room that I don't have to share with anyone else, and I love seeing my family. My dad says he gives me 2 months before I get sick of it and I decide to just stay on campus. I guess we'll see what happens.

This Week

Well, I got woken up at 8:30 Wednesday morning by yet another fire alarm. At least this time I wasn't in the shower. Everything is going well (except for that stupid fire alarm thing) and I'm liking college. My english class isn't exactly challenging and I'm a little disappointed because I'm bored. My history professor is great and if she wasn't it would kind of suck because I am a history major. My psychology professor is semi-retired from the Department of Defense. I'm not sure what that means but I think it's great anyway. My math class is, well, math. I hate math but the professor is really understanding and helpful and he doesn't make me feel stupid when I ask questions. Not much has happened in my other classes but they aren't bad either. I'm still trying to figure out the school's website, luckily I'm surrounded by technological geniuses. My last class ends at 2:50 tomorrow and then I'm headed home for the weekend where my mom promises to irritate me beyond belief. I have a psych module to read so I better get started or else I'll wait until the last minute.

False Alarm

I was in the shower and the smoke alarm for my residence hall went off. I ended up going outside with soap still on me. I fell in the bathroom trying to get my pajamas on. They weren't being cooperative because I was soaking wet. I had to get back the in the shower after we were all let back in to rinse off and condition my hair. Needless to say I wasn't happy especially after I found out someone burned popcorn and that's why the alarm went off. Hooray for college.

Interesting

Well, at least I think it is.

New Goal

I have a new goal and that goal is to learn Arabic. I found out two days ago that it would help my want to be future career of being an FBI agent if I decide not to be a prosecutor. I have no idea how I'm going to learn it but I have 4 years and I'm hoping for the best.

Here At Last

Well, I moved in to my dorm Friday and everything is going good. I will admit I am homesick. My roommates are nice and I met up with some friends I met at orientation. I'm actually on one of my friend's computers right now because my internet is acting stupid. I might not be able to post as much as before but I'm not going anywhere. I'm glad I'm finally in college (I don't have to wait anymore the impatience is gone!). My classes start Monday and I have two with my friend which is great. I'm happy to be here and I hope for smooth sailing.

A Confession

Have they finally found the person who killed her?

Hate

Shadows dance on the walls of those that remain unseen
Things exist in this world that make a nightmare from a dream
It seems nothing is changing, but the nothing is changing you
You gave up long ago trying to discover what to do
It's a disease, a plague self-inflicted on mankind
They see no other people they become selfishly blind
The innocents, they watch, unable to stop any of it
How easily time fools us and makes us forget

Copyright ©2008 by Nicci

All of my poems/songs are really copyrighted so DO NOT steal them I will find you.

Reality Slap

"Loss is a theme that I think a lot about, and it’s something in my work that I dwell on. I think when you experience any kind of loss, especially the kind I did, you have questions about survival: Why do some people thrive in situations that others can’t tolerate? Would I be able to survive and get on in the world on my own?"
-Anderson Cooper-

I react differently to things than others. I guess it could be said that I am a little desensitized. I'm no unemotional robot, I just don't cry very easily. (The movie World Trade Center did make me cry like a baby, but people who aren't effected by that film are complete sociopaths). I have a reason for the way I am. I lost someone very special to me when I was younger and that loss, instead of making me weaker, made me stronger in a way I wouldn't have been without it. I would gladly trade this "strength" I have to get back the person that I lost, but I can't do that and I've come to terms with it. Loss isn't something a person gets over no matter what anyone says. I know and I wouldn't lie to you. Instead the loss becomes apart of the person and it's up to them whether it turns into a good part or a bad part. Some people can't function, they can't survive. It's like when there loved one died they died too but in a worse way: not in body but in soul. I refused to let this happen to me. I told myself I would turn something negative and hurtful into something postive and driving (it's why I'm getting involved in the justice system). I'm not going to sugarcoat anything: the loss never goes away, no matter how deep it's been buried it's still there, just because it can't be seen doesn't mean it's not real anymore, trying to hide just makes it more real than before. I understand this reality, but I wish it hadn't slapped me so hard.

Never Surrender

"Do not yield. Do not flinch. Stand up. Stand up with our President and fight. We're Americans. We're Americans, and we'll never surrender. They will."
-John McCain-

Advice

"If you're going through hell, keep going."
-Sir Winston Churchill-

World Trade Center

I saw World Trade Center tonight. I mentioned in a previous post that I think that everyone should have to go see it and I still believe that. The film was done very well and tells the stories from the personal accounts of the survivors. It's not an easy movie to watch but that is no reason not to go see it. I am not ashamed to say that I cried, I never cry, and I have never had a movie make me cry before. We need to remember what happened, and I think that this movie does a fine job reminding those who have been dumb enough to forget, and making those who haven't forgotten glad for that reminder. I was glad. Oliver Stone did a great job (I even forgive him for Alexander). I really only have three words to sum all this up. GO SEE IT.

Dubya07

I like Daniel Craig, but I believe Dubya would be a much better Bond.

Aftermath

The evidence is clear
Everytime you are near
Something gets shattered
New becomes worn and tattered
Excuses can't be made
You have nothing to trade
No collateral, no reliability
Only random hostility
Why should you
Be catered to
No more waiting
For your instigating
It's time for this to end
Something fragile doesn't bend
Just because you
Want it to
Life is more
Than you use it for
You throw it away
Each and every day
It's not what you thought
Look what you've brought
Upon us all
You can't escape the fall

Copyright © 2008 by Nicci

All of my poems/songs are really copyrighted so DO NOT steal them I will find you.

Thwarted

Yet another terrorist plot. I hate stupid people, especially the suicidal morons that try to harm my country. I can think of a couple (actually more than a couple) very bad things I would like to happen to them.

Baseball

I love baseball. It has always been my favorite sport and is the reason I played softball for 12 years. My favorite player was and still is Chris Sabo, the third baseman for my favorite team when they won the 1990 World Series.

Out Of My Element

I'm not musically inclined and it depresses me. Today a couple of my friends and I went out to eat and to the mall. We ended up going into a music store. Talk about someone not feeling like they belong. Two of my friends can play instruments: one the guitar the other the keyboard and countless other things. I have had a guitar sitting in my room for about five years. The strings are rusted and there is a layer of dust on it an inch thick. It's sad I know but I have never learned to play it. I tried to teach myself I bought books and everything it just didn't work because I had no idea where to begin. At the time there was only one person that I knew of that lived close by that could teach me how to play. Unfortuately he was 4 years older and my mother didn't like the way he looked at me. I admit he was pretty creepy and he had a habit of staring at me. I wish he had been normal. I want to learn how to play my guitar but I know I can't teach myself because I have no natural talent like some, I have to have someone show me. That opportunity has never presented itself. Until now. My friend says she's going to teach me before we go off to college in separate states. Maybe then I won't feel like I'm out of my element when I walk into a music store.

Sydney

I discovered this blog at 3:30 this morning and I love the pictures. I'm glad I have this city on my list of the top 10 places I want to visit outside of the United States.

Previous Lives

I wonder about previous lives often. Is it possible for someone to have lived once before and come back later as a different person? I blame this theory for the type of person I am, whether it's possible or not. I want to know what kind of person I was/might have been/probably wasn't (doubt I'll ever really know but it's fun to speculate). I hope I was a brave person and that I wasn't infamous for anything. I would like to have been someone who made an important difference, even if making that difference resulted in my death like Joan of Ark (I know I'm no Saint I said like) because hey, I'm perfectly fine now. So what if it might not be true, there's a chance that it is.

Unfinished

I wish Coleridge had stayed alive long enough to finish this poem. I hate it when things leave me with questions that can't be answered.

Thoughtless

"To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day."
-Sir Winston Churchill-

N Is For Nefarious

"What word best describes you?" I hate that question, if that's not straight from Miss America I don't know what is. I have been asked that in I don't know how many English classes. I had to do this "project" (that's the best thing I can think to call it) in 10th grade where I had to find an interesting word that describes me to go with each letter of my name. When the teacher first told us about it she asked that question. "What word best describes you?" Of course she asked me. I wanted to say, "Uncertain, right now, but I'll get back to you on that once I've had time to think about it." Instead I said, "Uh, nice." Because my name starts with and "N" and that was the first thing that popped into my head. It wasn't very good but it was better than "uncertain" considering I don't have a "U" in my name. She told me I could do better than that so I had to come up with a different one so I said, "Nefarious." She looked at me for a second and said, "I'm sure that's not true." I was very well aware that nefarious means "extremely wicked". It's not true, I'm not extremely wicked but it was a more complex word than "nice" and she didn't ask me to come up with another one. To this day I think she didn't believe I knew what it meant because none of the other people in the class did and either she didn't want to point that out or she just didn't care because she didn't try to explain it. It was probably one of those things she wanted me to look up myself.

Not Dead Yet

I guess he isn't ready to go on the cart.

I Knew It

I took another quiz and it stated the obvious.

You Are an Old Soul:
You are an experienced soul who appreciates tradition. Mellow and wise, you like to be with others but also to be alone. Down to earth, you are sensible and impatient. A creature of habit, it takes you a while to warm up to new people. You hate injustice, and you're very protective of family and friends. A bit demanding, you expect proper behavior from others. Extremely independent you don't mind living or being alone. But when you find love, you tend to want marriage right away.
Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul and Visionary Soul

Impossible

If I could go back in time and change one thing...well, I don't know what I'd change, I'll have to think about it. Maybe change isn't good because in movies and in books when the past is altered the world is worse than what it was. Many believe all things happen for a reason and most of the time I am one of those people. Most of the time. Watching the news can make a person wonder why all of the bad things that happen could possibly be necessary. Being someone that believes in God, there are many times I want to ask him, why? I guess I'll have to wait until I meet him to get an answer. A real answer. I thought maybe, I would go back and change when Eve ate the apple, that way the knowledge of good and evil would not have been spread to all mankind. Then I thought maybe her doing that was more good than bad. At least now we have the capability to decide things for ourselves and that's not a bad thing. It's what we do with those decisions that kills us. A mind of our own, it's what made us all different from one another. I guess I could never just choose one thing to change, I would have to change a lot of things like: 9/11, The Holocaust, Genocide, every major natural disaster, the deaths of loved ones, Glitter (some comic relief), and the extinction of certain animals and plants. It's not possible but it's a thought.

Long Time Coming

She works patiently all day
Waiting for a kind word to come her way
She's made everything just right
This time she's certain there will be no fight
But that's not true at all
A single picture hangs crooked on the wall
The last statue that was her mother's
He had destroyed all of the others
He picks it up and slams it down
Now it's nothing but shiny pieces on the ground
She know's she's not supposed to cry
Even though inside she's about to die
How much more can she take
Glass isn't all he's managed to break
She's made up her mind
Tomorrow he gets left far behind
He wakes up at first light
And realizes something isn't quite right
Bright red paint catches his eye
One word says it all. GOODBYE

(Don't worry I've not had this happen to me. I really don't know where my poetry ideas come from. They just kind of hit me unexpectedly, but those are the best kind.)

Copyright © 2008 by Nicci

All of my poems/songs are really copyrighted so DO NOT steal them I will find you.

Preparations

I doubt I'm the only one that has negative feelings towards this man. He might die sooner, he might die later but they are going to be prepared just in case.

I Hope

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
-Sir Winston Churchill-