Reality Slap

"Loss is a theme that I think a lot about, and it’s something in my work that I dwell on. I think when you experience any kind of loss, especially the kind I did, you have questions about survival: Why do some people thrive in situations that others can’t tolerate? Would I be able to survive and get on in the world on my own?"
-Anderson Cooper-

I react differently to things than others. I guess it could be said that I am a little desensitized. I'm no unemotional robot, I just don't cry very easily. (The movie World Trade Center did make me cry like a baby, but people who aren't effected by that film are complete sociopaths). I have a reason for the way I am. I lost someone very special to me when I was younger and that loss, instead of making me weaker, made me stronger in a way I wouldn't have been without it. I would gladly trade this "strength" I have to get back the person that I lost, but I can't do that and I've come to terms with it. Loss isn't something a person gets over no matter what anyone says. I know and I wouldn't lie to you. Instead the loss becomes apart of the person and it's up to them whether it turns into a good part or a bad part. Some people can't function, they can't survive. It's like when there loved one died they died too but in a worse way: not in body but in soul. I refused to let this happen to me. I told myself I would turn something negative and hurtful into something postive and driving (it's why I'm getting involved in the justice system). I'm not going to sugarcoat anything: the loss never goes away, no matter how deep it's been buried it's still there, just because it can't be seen doesn't mean it's not real anymore, trying to hide just makes it more real than before. I understand this reality, but I wish it hadn't slapped me so hard.

Never Surrender

"Do not yield. Do not flinch. Stand up. Stand up with our President and fight. We're Americans. We're Americans, and we'll never surrender. They will."
-John McCain-

Advice

"If you're going through hell, keep going."
-Sir Winston Churchill-

World Trade Center

I saw World Trade Center tonight. I mentioned in a previous post that I think that everyone should have to go see it and I still believe that. The film was done very well and tells the stories from the personal accounts of the survivors. It's not an easy movie to watch but that is no reason not to go see it. I am not ashamed to say that I cried, I never cry, and I have never had a movie make me cry before. We need to remember what happened, and I think that this movie does a fine job reminding those who have been dumb enough to forget, and making those who haven't forgotten glad for that reminder. I was glad. Oliver Stone did a great job (I even forgive him for Alexander). I really only have three words to sum all this up. GO SEE IT.

Dubya07

I like Daniel Craig, but I believe Dubya would be a much better Bond.

Aftermath

The evidence is clear
Everytime you are near
Something gets shattered
New becomes worn and tattered
Excuses can't be made
You have nothing to trade
No collateral, no reliability
Only random hostility
Why should you
Be catered to
No more waiting
For your instigating
It's time for this to end
Something fragile doesn't bend
Just because you
Want it to
Life is more
Than you use it for
You throw it away
Each and every day
It's not what you thought
Look what you've brought
Upon us all
You can't escape the fall

Copyright © 2008 by Nicci

All of my poems/songs are really copyrighted so DO NOT steal them I will find you.

Thwarted

Yet another terrorist plot. I hate stupid people, especially the suicidal morons that try to harm my country. I can think of a couple (actually more than a couple) very bad things I would like to happen to them.

Baseball

I love baseball. It has always been my favorite sport and is the reason I played softball for 12 years. My favorite player was and still is Chris Sabo, the third baseman for my favorite team when they won the 1990 World Series.

Out Of My Element

I'm not musically inclined and it depresses me. Today a couple of my friends and I went out to eat and to the mall. We ended up going into a music store. Talk about someone not feeling like they belong. Two of my friends can play instruments: one the guitar the other the keyboard and countless other things. I have had a guitar sitting in my room for about five years. The strings are rusted and there is a layer of dust on it an inch thick. It's sad I know but I have never learned to play it. I tried to teach myself I bought books and everything it just didn't work because I had no idea where to begin. At the time there was only one person that I knew of that lived close by that could teach me how to play. Unfortuately he was 4 years older and my mother didn't like the way he looked at me. I admit he was pretty creepy and he had a habit of staring at me. I wish he had been normal. I want to learn how to play my guitar but I know I can't teach myself because I have no natural talent like some, I have to have someone show me. That opportunity has never presented itself. Until now. My friend says she's going to teach me before we go off to college in separate states. Maybe then I won't feel like I'm out of my element when I walk into a music store.

Sydney

I discovered this blog at 3:30 this morning and I love the pictures. I'm glad I have this city on my list of the top 10 places I want to visit outside of the United States.