Terror.

They say that when you're terrified, you show your true colors and who you really are. In my 20, almost 21 years on this planet I can honestly say I've never been terrified. I've been afraid of course, who hasn't? It's a basic human emotion, fear. This may sound twisted, but I actually sort of want to be scared out of my mind, because I want to find out who I really am. I would like to believe I'm brave, that I can handle anything thrown at me with grace and dignity, that I wouldn't run and leave other people in the same situation in my cowardly wake. But the truth is I really don't know myself that way, because I've never had the opportunity to find out. We as people tend to believe what we want to about ourselves, and give ourselves qualities that in reality we do not possess, but in our defense some of us don't know we're doing that. We've just never had the chance to prove otherwise. If the day comes, and I get this crazy wish of mine granted, I hope I find out I'm the person I think I am, and that if I'm faced with a horrifying situation I can handle it, even though I'd be more afraid than I've even been in my entire life. I hope that if there are others involved (and I pray to god with everything I have there isn't because I would never wish this on another person) that I would want to help them, and not run. In my heart of hearts I believe I wouldn't run, but like I said in this case believing doesn't mean anything. In all honesty I should probably knock on wood, and be careful what I wish for, but if fate has this in store for me, then fate wins.