New Ending

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."~ Maria Robinson

A Sound Of Thunder

So it's 6:30 (that's a.m by the way) and I have yet to go to sleep. I've been lying in bed wondering, of all the things to wonder about, what would life be like in "my" house had I never been born? On a smaller level, I know that would make Joey the oldest and Chase would still be the youngest, but not 3rd in the order. I know that would mean that Joey had the biggest room in the house and more responsibility. I also know that they would be really bored with no big sister to pick on. Going deeper, I wonder if my family would live in the same house, or even the same town had I never been born. The first year of my life I lived in two totally different places. It was the arrival of my brother and the fact that we were growing up that caused my parents to move out of the city into the country. I wonder if they would feel like something was missing in their lives or if they would feel like everything is whole, that nothing is gone. On an even bigger level I guess that would also mean that the world would be different as well. No, I'm not arrogant nor do I think I'm this epic human being (yet, haha), but I believe the non-arrival of someone would make a difference, be it big or small, there would be one. Like in A Sound of Thunder when the butterfly dies and it alters the course of history and the world forever. Something as small as a butterfly changed everything. I guess my insomnia riddled mind is over-worked but it made sense in my head, whether it does or not on this screen is another matter. But I guess it's something to think on; what would your own small world and the world at large be like with out your presence in it? Do you think it would be better, worse or indifferent? I personally don't know what it would be like, and I never want to find out.

Mockingbird

Sometimes when the wind picks up
And scatters the dust off the ground
I think I can hear the sound
Of the truth, the way it’s meant to be
The way that Atticus told me
But the music comes and goes
And leaves me all alone
It’s been so long since I’ve heard
It’s a sin to kill a mockingbird

The leaves tumble by
The trees stand in their beautiful lie
You would never know the secrets they keep
It’s just enough to fool the weak
I can’t help but to realize, to see
How things pretend to be happy
We’ve all grown older now
But still the same
I don’t want to know how
To play this game

Sometimes when the wind picks up
And scatters the dust off the ground
I think I can hear the sound
Of the truth, the way it’s meant to be
The way that Atticus told me
But the music comes and goes
And leaves me all alone
It’s been so long since I’ve heard
It’s a sin to kill a mockingbird

Sometimes it takes a child’s mind
To make you realize how far you are behind
Lesson heard but never learned
An entire town gets burned
Foolish girl you tell a lie
I dare you to say it to the sky
And when justice comes
And you know it will
Are you going to be lying still

Sometimes when the wind picks up
And scatters the dust off the ground
I think I can hear the sound
Of the truth, the way it’s meant to be
The way that Atticus told me
But the music comes and goes
And leaves me all alone
It’s been so long since I’ve heard
It’s a sin to kill a mockingbird

It’s been so long since I’ve heard
It’s a sin to kill a mockingbird

Copyright © 2008 by Nicci

All of my poems/songs are really copyrighted so DO NOT steal them I will find you.

Lately

Well, I made it through finals obviously with my 3.6 GPA intact. I now have about a week left until I go back to start my fourth semester of college. I need to call Boston and see what's going on with that. Hopefully everything will work out and I can stop harping on it and just be there. If I do I will start posting mass amounts of pictures on this blog and probably will anyway. I'm supposed to be getting a digital camera so you've been warned. I really want to live in Boston, I'm ready for the city and ready to get out on my own for real. I'm not even worried about being able to make it, at least I have the courage to do it, that's how I'm looking at it. I know where I belong...anyway, there I go harping on it again. Obsessions are never healthy, unless they're with vegetables. I'm still not sleeping and that's something I'm going to have to work on because it's really starting to catch up with me. One of my friends asked me, "How do you even function?" my answer, "Sheer willpower." Ha. I actually have four book ideas bouncing around inside my head and I'm making progress despite a couple instances of writers block. I hope to get published, it would be amazing to see New York Times Bestseller on top of something I wrote, but I suppose I'm getting a little ahead of myself considering I'm just hoping I can even finish them. Hopefully I can. I've even told friends instead of keeping it to myself so they can ask me about it and I can't just put it away and forget about it. My next semester isn't as crazy as this past one so I should have so time to do the things that I enjoy like my blog and my writing.

P.S I will have more poems/songs posted shortly. I've copyrighted them I just have to post them :]

Foamy

According to my friends, I have Foamy rants. This isn't a rant per say but it's funny none the less. Even if the British squirrel calls us "Yanks" and says we all have pill popping problems, which isn't true, but haha anyway.

Happy New Year!!!

2008? I'm still stuck in 2004.

Anyway my New Year's Resolutions and plans in no particular order:

1. Finish book(s)
2. Compile my poetry
3. Keep up my GPA
4. Get John McCain elected President
5. Sleep!
6. Move to Boston
7. Banish Stress
8. Study abroad in Ireland
9. Visit Grammie
10. Save more money

Here's to looking at 2008, may everyone's resolutions come true.

Oh, No Not I, I Will Survive...I Think.

So it's Thursday of finals week here at school. It's my last day and I have 4 exams down and one to go. I'm so stressed out I can't stand it. But I get like this every time midterms and finals roll around. I'm a nervous wreck, what can I say. I officially haven't sleep for 2 nights in a row and I'm so tired I can't stand it. My dad told me that all of this stress will pay of in the long run and I hope he's right. When I'm not studying, I'm writing. I started a book when I was 16 and have yet to finish it 4 years later. It's probably because I keep erasing everything and starting over. It just never seems good enough. So I decided 2 nights ago that I'm just going to write and have to be ok with wherever that takes me. They say first instincts are the best so I'll go on mine and see what happens. I'm not going to say what it's about but it is what I would consider an epic. I'm very excited and I can't wait to see if maybe one day it will be published. Right now it's just a diversion from real life and entertainment during bouts of severe insomnia. But maybe it'll turn into something I can really be proud of. Until then I must focus on finals...ugh.

Sorry...

The likelihood of me posting anything of substance for November is pretty bleak. I'm just too busy, and it all would be repetitive nonsense anyway. I'm following the presidential race and you should be too. Go Senator McCain!!! I'll make up for my lack of posting later.

Left Out

Recently it seems that every girl I went to high school with is either, in a serious relationship, engaged, or married, and I just graduated in '06. I can't help but feel a little left out. Like maybe there is some secret meeting or club that I'm never invited to. It's very strange to see everyone that I've known pretty much all my life change so quickly. Meanwhile, I'm at school pursuing my education, thinking about law school, and contemplating transferring to Boston, Mass. I know that I'm not doing the wrong thing, in fact I'm doing the right thing by furthering my education and whatnot, I just feel that somehow, somewhere along the way I didn't pick up that valuable piece of information everyone else seems to be so well read on. I've been so headstrong about my future I've paid absolutely no attention to the present and I believe I am paying for that now. I know there is no way to make up for lost time but maybe I can make the rest of my years worthwhile. I'm only 20, I hope I have the time that suggests. It's not that I want to be married at this age, I'm just wondering if I skipped the part where I was told it was a requirement. As for the relationship thing, I'll probably be the old lady at the end of the street with 57 cats all named Bob. But they say that good things come to those who wait, I guess I'll keep on waiting.

20 Things

Idea from Maria.

1. I am a Republican (okay I've mentioned that, but I don't think I've mentioned I'm a maverick Republican)
2. I don't hate math, it hates me. Well, actually I hate it too.
3. I read about 5 books a week along with an assortment of articles, poems, and short stories.
4. My favorite type of book is historical fiction.
5. I thought about being a History teacher for about 3 seconds then realized I didn't have the patience for it.
6. When I walk into a library I immediately feel like I belong.
7. I'm extremely proud of my heritage.
8. I am a walking encyclopedia for movies. When my friends have a question about one they ask me.
9. I am very well educated on Greek, Roman, and Norse Mythology.
10. When I was in 5th grade one of my poems was published in a book. It was the worst poem I have ever written.
11. My favorite artists are Vincent Van Gogh and Johannes Vermeer, and Andy Warhol.
12. Before I wanted to be involved in the justice system I wanted to be an Archaeologist.
13. I hate little boats.
14. I can cuss in Italian thanks to my Uncle Louie.
15. My favorite actor is Kevin Spacey. The man is talented.
16. My favorite T.V shows are House, Law & Order CI, Monk, Nancy Grace, Anderson Cooper 360, Forensic Files, Man vs. Wild, Ghost Hunters, and The Soup.
17. I have two tattoos, one on the back of my left ankle and one around my right ankle.
18. My middle name is Charity, my mother's middle name is Faith, and my grandmother's middle name is Hope.
19. I collect black and white pictures and rosaries.
20. I believe in ghosts, but only if Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson say they are real.