tintinnabulation.

Official Writer.

2010-10-04T23:13:00.000-07:00

I can consider myself an official writer. I sent the first three chapters of my book into a publisher and they want it. Words cannot express how excited I am. Stay tuned for updates :)

Current Song Obsession.

2010-06-03T03:00:00.000-07:00

I was expecting to hate this band simply based on the fact its lead singer is on a TV show I'd rather eat glass than watch, but I was wrong. I really like her voice, and the song. I hope she's not as pompous as everyone says she is. Given the fact I don't know her, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

Accepted.

2010-06-02T01:04:00.000-07:00

I was accepted into grad school today. I'm extremely excited to be a student again. This probably means there's something wrong with me, because everyone else seems to hate it, but oh well.

G Man

2010-05-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

After Capone died on October 12th my dad found another Pit Bull at a family friend's who is also a breeder. Initially we were a little apprehensive at getting another dog so soon, and didn't want it to seem like we were replacing our poor little Capone, but when my dad and brother went to a family friend's house to see his Pit Bull and the puppies, this guy picked us. He had an instant connection with my brother, and has been apart of the family ever since. I've been meaning to post pictures of him for a while, but couldn't get him to sit still long enough to see his pretty face. My brother Chase finally got this one of him, and I think it's great. He's only six months old and already about 60 or so pounds. He's completely crazy, and has way too much energy but I love him anyway, although I'm waiting for him to mellow out, haha. And, no, we did not get him or Capone to fight them, we got them because we are a family that loves dogs, even the misunderstood ones.

Graduation

2010-05-08T23:28:00.000-07:00

It's official. I'm a college graduate, and it only took me 4 years and 121 credit hours. The truth is, I miss it all ready, but I take solace in knowing that if all goes according to plan I will be right back at the school I love in the fall to work towards my Master's in Public History. I decided last week that practicing law wasn't for me, and that I wanted a career in History, because History makes me happy. I want to get up in the mornings and be excited for the day ahead. I don't want to hate my job, and I want to know that I'm doing something I love. Wish me luck, or that I break a leg, I'm not really sure which would apply in this situation.

Cirque Du Soliel

2010-05-02T23:39:00.000-07:00

I saw Cirque du Soliel: Alegria today and it. was. amazing. I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I highly recommend that all who haven't had the chance to ever see one of the shows, do, as soon as they can.

April Fool's Day

2010-04-01T23:46:00.000-07:00

Happy April Fool's Day. Just one more month of college for me. Sometimes I wish that was just a joke, but it isn't.

Christoph Waltz & Inglourious Basterds.

2010-03-08T19:46:00.000-08:00

There's a good chance I'm a little in love with actor Christoph Waltz. He won his first Oscar last night for his supporting role as Hans Landa in Inglourious Basterds. In my opinion he was the best part of the film. The opening scene is amazing, but the historical inaccuracies in it made the historian in me cringe. I understand it's supposed to be a revenge film, a poetic wouldn't it be awesome if this really happened film. I must admit it would have been great if a Jew got to kill Hitler, but sadly, that is not what happened. It was a well made film though, with great performances, characters, and I especially liked how the languages were authentic. Quentin Tarantino is a fantastic director, and I would have loved to have seen him walk away with Best Director, but there is always next year.

New Semester, Last Semester

2010-01-14T19:27:00.000-08:00

I started my last semester on Monday. I'm having such a hard time believing that my time as an undergrad is coming to an end. When I was told that the likelihood of me graduating in four years was highly unlikely, I decided I would do everything I could to make it happen, just to prove a point. Now I'm wishing I had dragged my feet a little more because I truly love my school, and I really don't want to leave it. I have big plans for law school, plans that aren't working out the way I had originally intended due to some unfortunate luck my family and I have been having lately. I'm trying to maintain the faith that things will get better for me. I'm just going to work hard and hope that everything happens for a reason, and that reason is on my side. You know what they say, c'est la vie.

Mama San.

2009-12-06T22:13:00.000-08:00

My mom is sick. She's been in the hospital since the first, and I'm very worried. She told me today if everything goes well she should be released on Tuesday morning. I'm keeping my figures crossed and I'm praying she is. I miss her, and I want her to feel better more than anything. So here's to hoping everything goes the way it should.

Turkey Day.

2009-11-26T22:15:00.000-08:00

haha.
Happy Thanksgiving ;)

In Memory of Capone.

2009-10-12T13:43:00.000-07:00

Capone died today of a heart attack. The vet says his heart was too small.

waiting.

2009-10-06T15:53:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to kill some time while I wait for 8p.m showing of Much Ado About Nothing here at my school. I feel like that's what I've been doing the most of lately, waiting. Waiting for this, waiting for that, waiting for May to roll around and my four years at this University as an Undergrad to come to an end. To be honest the more I think about it the more depressed I get. I've come to really love it here, and the though of leaving it hurts in a way I never thought would happen. I came into this telling myself I wasn't going to be a fifth year Senior, that I would work hard, and graduate on time, and now I'm regretting staying on that track because if I hadn't I'd have one more year. I take the LSAT in December, another thing I'm waiting for, and hopefully I do well on it, and the law school that is on my current University's campus will accept me and I'll have three more years here. But then I'll just be waiting again, waiting for those three years to be up, and then I'll really have to leave. I honestly don't know if it's because college has been such an amazing experience for me, or because I consider this University as much of a home as my real one. Either way, when May gets here, I'm going to be a mess.

Easily Amused.

2009-09-16T22:30:00.000-07:00

Something that I doubt will ever get old to me is hearing my history Professor say "half baked" in his French accent.

P.S It's sort of interesting I have a Professor who is French considering I want to learn the language. I think I may be picking up words just from hearing him in class already, but that's probably wishful thinking. I seemed to be surrounded by France this semester, as it is regularly mentioned in 3 out of my 5 classes.

remember.

2009-09-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

Remember September 11, 2001 and all those innocent people and heroes that lost their lives.

Parlez-vous français?

2009-09-10T09:37:00.000-07:00

I am seriously considering learning French. I've always wanted to learn a foreign language, it's just a continuous goal I've had for myself. After my mother sort of shut down the idea of me learning Arabic, (it's not a racist thing, it's just that like any concerned mother she doesn't want my job shipping me into a war zone) I figured I would learn Spanish because I have a bit of a background in it having taken 3 years of it in high school. However, I've come to realize I didn't learn the Spanish I know, I memorized it which isn't a good thing. So, starting from scratch in a different language, especially a Latin based one, seems to be my best bet, at least in my opinion. I'm hoping to get the Rosetta Stone software around Christmas or maybe sooner. Wish me luck!

p.s for those of you who don't know, I want to work for the government in some capacity, hence the war zone comment.

Capone, Orginal Gangster

2009-09-01T16:54:00.000-07:00

He's a Pit Bull, and the newest addition to the family.

Officially a Senior

2009-06-23T16:37:00.001-07:00

It's true, it's been posted on my University's website. Only 10 classes to go :)

a resolute and unyielding need.

2009-04-11T00:09:00.000-07:00

I want a corgi so very much.
image from dailypuppy.com

fences & fire hydrants.

2009-03-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

photos by me :)

insomnia.

2009-03-12T02:44:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep, which isn't anything new or unusual for me since I've been plagued with insomnia since birth. To entertain myself I decided to post a random picture of...

Mr. Bean.
And now I'm going to give this sleep thing another try, goodnight all.

ghost hunters episode.

2009-03-11T20:44:00.000-07:00

Painting by Walter Haskell Hinton 1950
The second half of tonight's Ghost Hunters was in Philadelphia, PA in the Betsy Ross house, and I just so happen to be related to Betsy Ross on my mom's side. Yes, it's true, I'm related to the woman that sewed the first American flag, and I might be bragging just a little. So I was twice as excited as I originally was for the new episode when I realized where it was taking place. All in all I thought it was an alright episode. They picked up some EVP's (Electronic Voice Phenomenon) in both the first and second half and that's all, but at least it was something. I'm just happy it's back.

let's go lights out.

2009-03-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

Tonight at 9 on SCI-FI there will be a brand new episode of Ghost Hunters. I'm addicted to the show, and I've seen every single episode since it started, so it's safe to say I'm pretty excited for the new season.

For more information on TAPS and Ghost Hunters check out www.scifi.com/ghosthunters and the-atlantic-paranormal-society.com.

notebook.

2009-03-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

photos by me :)

blue skies, smilin' at me.

2009-03-10T13:36:00.000-07:00

the sky today.
photo by me :)

yoshi (:

2009-03-10T11:07:00.001-07:00

credit for image goes to janette.createblog.com

slowly getting better.

2009-03-09T14:23:00.001-07:00

I have no energy, still cough, and I'm sore, but I feel better today than I did yesterday. I went outside for a little while today and sat on a bench to get some fresh air, just that little bit of activity wore me out. I'm back in my room aka quarantine purgatory, but a least I have my window open. I'm probably going to take a trip back to school tomorrow to get some things I forgot, one of them being the usb to my camera so I can start posting pictures of my epic spring break, haha. I need to start packing up my things soon because we're moving into a new house, and I think I've actually forgotten to mention that before, so sorry about that. It's a nice little house and I'll post pictures of it as soon as I take some. I've only been in it once. Anyway, I think I'm going to write some more on other things. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be closer to 100%.

p.s

2009-03-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

I've decided I'm going to start posting random pictures from my life on here. That was my original intention when I got my digital camera but I've never gotten around to it. Be prepared for them to not make sense.

the crazy octo-mom.

2009-03-08T16:53:00.000-07:00

I almost didn't post anything about Nadya Suleman, or her obvious attempts to look like Angelina Jolie (which are extremely obvious just look for god sakes), but then I decided I just couldn't ignore it any longer. Why can't I ignore it any longer? Well, because I've heard that 911 call she made after she lost one of her kids about 10 times this week. That's the first sign you've got to many to handle, when you don't even notice one's gone for and hour. The week after she gave birth there were many discussions about her in a couple of my classes. Mostly arguments either saying she should NOT have been allowed to reproduce at all, let alone again because she's unemployed, addicted to surgery, and unstable. That and her own mother says she already has 6 children and that is already too many. They (she and her mother) fight all the time, not to mention stress is high because many people are angry she's on welfare and that the American tax dollar is having to fund her brood of children. My reasoning is that she should never have been cleared for in-vitro fertilization to begin with, especially the second time, because she has NO JOB, and she's unstable. She's not like Jon and Kate, who are able to financially care for their children. If she had a job, and a stable home life I'd say she could pop out however many babies she wants, but she doesn't. Here's a video of her and her mother fighting, and a woman telling her to get a job.

new...again.

2009-03-08T16:23:00.000-07:00

I've changed my layout yet again. I really like this one because it's simple and fairly easy to navigate. The only thing I don't quite understand are the icons that I put in the coding just seem to show whichever one they want in no particular order. Oh, well. Anyway, I'm still sick, but I seem to be getting better. I've gotten some writing done and I feel pretty good about it. Just thousands of words to go, haha.

new resolution.

2009-03-07T10:06:00.000-08:00

I love this song :)

New Resolution
by Heartless Bastards

my new resolution is to be
someone who does not take everything so seriously
I want to laugh and joke and have a ~~smoke~~
and have a good time
and join an institution that will fuel my mind
whoever said ignorance, oh it was bliss
well, there's something there
that I declare they surely missed
'cause in the days and modern ways
you'll get passed by
try to have some fun
I always want to take it in stride

I was out there
on an open sea
no direction, and no one to lead

and then I looked back in there
how did we get there?
the water was foggy
but I didn't really care
'cause stagnancy makes me drown
and I really want to live

my new resolution is to be
someone who does not care what anyone thinks of me
'cause I don't even like myself half the time
and what's the use in worrying what's on other people's minds?

I was out there
on an open sea
no direction, and no one to lead

and then I looked back in there
how did we get there?
the water was foggy
but I didn't really care
'cause stagnancy makes me drown
and I really want to live

I want this.

2009-03-05T21:26:00.001-08:00

I want this thing.

sick.

2009-03-05T20:49:00.000-08:00

I'm sick and it's horrible. My head feels like a water balloon, and my throat burns all the way into my chest like it's on fire. I really just want it to go away and I hope my roommates don't get it. It's bad enough they have to listen to me whine, I'd hate for them to actually get sick.

we didn't start the fire.

2009-03-04T19:31:00.000-08:00

I saw this in my Modern U.S History class and thought it was pretty great.

frustration.

2009-02-28T21:26:00.000-08:00

I'm extremely frustrated right now because I have the worst case of writer's block I have ever had. I guess that's what I get for trying to write two completely different stories at one time. Well, that and I think they're good stories but I won't do them justice because my writing ability sucks. This is the reason I've been trying to fish the same book for 5 years, I never think what I do is good enough. To be honest, I'll probably never finish either, which is depressing. The only reason why even I've even let it be known that I'm attempting such a feat is I thought it would light a fire under me to actually just sit down and write instead of deleting everything and starting over all the time. Now I'm rambling in great big long sentences because I'm getting more and more frustrated the more I think about it. Ugh. I hope I finish what I've started, but I really need to stop second guessing myself. In the meantime, don't hold your breathe waiting for my books to come out, it might be awhile, if ever.

jack the ripper.

2009-02-26T22:08:00.000-08:00

I watched some of the documentary on serial killers I bought earlier this week. The first one covered was Jack the Ripper. Although, of course, he is not the first serial killer, he is the first one to gain fame and he also sparked giving the killers names. i.e. BTK, The Boston Strangler, etc.

the road not taken.

2009-02-25T22:05:00.000-08:00

The Road Not Taken
by: Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

curtis stone.

2009-02-24T22:15:00.000-08:00

truth be told, I just like to look at him sometimes :)

new.

2009-02-23T23:00:00.001-08:00

new blog layout and new name :) I'll be posting something more interesting soon.

I want this.

2009-01-21T21:04:00.000-08:00

fact.

2009-01-11T19:10:00.000-08:00

I feel like I'm just getting more and more restless.

inventing villains.

2009-01-06T05:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday as I was writing some more on my book, or what I hope to eventually be my book if I ever actually finish it, I got a little sidetracked and started to write on something else. Something in what I was writing sparked another idea and before I knew it had caught in the figurative wind and had started to spread. The idea is a dark one, and is requiring me to come up with a sinister villain. I've found that's easier said than done. There have been so many great villains already thought up that it's difficult to make a new one without feeling like you're poaching someone else's creativity. I've got a few good ideas and hopefully one of them ends up being right for the story. I've decided it can't just be a run of the mill serial killer, I have something else in mind. We'll just have to wait and see what happens. Anyway, it's almost 6 A.M and I really need to try to sleep. Good Night/Morning.

nothing better.

2008-12-23T16:49:00.001-08:00

one of my most favorite things in the world.

the fear.

2008-12-13T23:58:00.000-08:00

the fear by lily allen

Virulated.

2008-12-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

My computer has a virus, or something. To be honest no one is really sure what is going on with it exactly. I really just want it to be fixed but the Geek Squad charges 200 bucks. They tell me this after the girl says that viruses are extremely easy to get rid of. If they are so easy to get rid of then why does it cost so much for your services? Answer me that. Anyway, I can still use my computer but I'm paranoid that I'm going to get my identity stolen or something. I'm sitting outside of my geology class now. I should be studying for the final on climate but alas I'm not because I'm ranting on here.

I Want You to Curve the Bullet.

2008-11-29T22:16:00.000-08:00

I was watching Wanted, and it got me thinking: if I could have a special ability or even a power what would I want it to be? I always thought I would like to be invisible, but I think invisibility might be overrated, not to mention it's only ONE ability, like being able to fly. I think I would like to be a shapeshifter more than anything else. The ability to turn into anything I want kind of trumps the whole invisibility thing, because in a way, if you can turn into anything to blend in, you are invisible. Not to mention if I wanted to fly, I could just turn into something that does ergo a bird. Another power I would like to have is being able to walk through things like Kitty Pride in X-Men. There is one power I would not want and that's being able to see the future. I worry enough as it is, I don't need to see what's coming on top of it. Not to mention it takes the mystery out of life which is what's part of making it worth living. Oh, and the whole curving a bullet thing, that would be awesome too.

Writing Again.

2008-11-23T15:53:00.000-08:00

As the title so obviously puts it, I'm writing again. For those of you that don't know I'm trying to complete my book that I've been working on since I was 16. And no, I haven't been writing it for 5 years straight. I can't get it to come out the way I want it to so I'll write a few chapters and then delete them and start over. The other day I decided I'm just going to write until I can't write anymore, and that I'm going to suppress the urge to hit the backspace button. The past few days I've been on a roll. I've turned out 26 pages and have no intention of slowing down. My goal is to have everything completed by March if not sooner. When I hit the 80,000 word mark I'm going to have a little party in my head. If and when I get it finished I've decided the first publisher I'm going to hit up is Penguin. Hopefully they like it, if they don't I'll try someplace else. But like I said I actually have to have a finished product for it to get published. So here's to hoping.

change my attempt, good intentions.

2008-11-09T13:23:00.000-08:00

wasteland by 10 years

Dream When You're Feeling Blue.

2008-11-06T23:16:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite song, ever.

Dream, when you're feeling blue
Dream, that's the thing to do
Just watch the smoke rings rise in the air
You'll find your share of memories there

So dream when the day is through
Dream, and they might come true
Things never are as bad as they seem
So dream, dream, dream

Dream when the day is through
Dream, and they might come true
Things never are as bad as they seem
So dream, dream, dream dream

Things never are as bad as they seem
So dream, dream, dream

-Written by Johnny Mercer and Performed by Frank Sinatra
CD=The Magic of Old Blue Eyes.

New.

2008-11-06T01:31:00.000-08:00

New blog layout. I really like it.

The End.

2008-11-05T21:51:00.000-08:00

something I have to say.

2008-11-04T21:18:00.000-08:00

It is now 11:58 pm and everyone the world in the world knows that America has just elected it's first African-American President. So for the record...

Congratulations Senator Obama. Although I did not vote for you and can't even really claim to like you, since you will be the Commander-in-Chief as of January 20, 2009 I am inclined to respect you. I have this to say, I hope that you take your job seriously, I hope that you do all of the things you promised, and I hope with every bit of my heart that you do not lead astray American Democracy. You made history, do not take it lightly.

As for Senator McCain. Sir, I believe you are a true American hero and it saddens me that you will not hold the office you so rightfully deserve. I believe you would have done great things for this country by holding its highest positon, but I also believe you have made a positive mark on America as a whole that will never be forgotten. Thank you Senator McCain and I wish you all the best. You will always be my choice for President.

And America, I'm thankful for this election having such a high voter turnout. Whether it went my way or not, it was something to be proud of.

p.s. I'm still a Republican ;)

21 and some Change.

2008-10-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

I turned 21 this past Saturday and I didn't drink. That's right, I still haven't drank anything even though I'm 21 years old. Talk amongst yourselves.

It's Been Awhile.

2008-10-08T19:27:00.001-07:00

Not much going on, that's why there haven't been many posts lately. I went and saw my school's theatre department production "Of Mice & Men". I was very impressed with it. The strange thing is that I wouldn't have gotten to go if I hadn't just so happened across a ticket lying on the sidewalk. I feel kind of guilty that my good fortune was the result of someone else having misfortune. I opened up an account at Blockbuster so I can rent all the videos that my store doesn't carry. I rode a public transportation bus for the first time yesterday. It was a milestone in my life, haha. Speaking of milestones, my 21st birthday is this coming Saturday and I'm not the least bit excited about it. I should be, but it's hard to when I don't think much is going to happen and I'm starting to feel old. Anyway, the next time you hear from me I'll more than likely be a legal adult in every way, shape, and form. Yay me.

Remember.

2008-09-11T22:02:00.000-07:00

It's September 11th. Take some time out of your day to pay respects to the heroes and the people who lost their lives.

The First Week of My Junior Year.

2008-08-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

So far everything is going pretty well here at school. I moved in on Saturday the 23rd and started class on Monday. All my professors are pretty great, but the course load that I have is going to take a lot of work. I knew that going into it, but it's different when you're actually doing it and not just speculating about it over the summer. My floor is way more social than it has been in the past, which is a big improvement from the antisocial grouches that were here last semester. All in all I have a positive outlook for this semester, even if it is going to be riddled with papers and research. I'm a history major I kind of saw that coming.

Quote from Dr. Reynolds: "Don't mess with historians, they have time on their hands."

Terror.

2008-08-21T01:45:00.000-07:00

They say that when you're terrified, you show your true colors and who you really are. In my 20, almost 21 years on this planet I can honestly say I've never been terrified. I've been afraid of course, who hasn't? It's a basic human emotion, fear. This may sound twisted, but I actually sort of want to be scared out of my mind, because I want to find out who I really am. I would like to believe I'm brave, that I can handle anything thrown at me with grace and dignity, that I wouldn't run and leave other people in the same situation in my cowardly wake. But the truth is I really don't know myself that way, because I've never had the opportunity to find out. We as people tend to believe what we want to about ourselves, and give ourselves qualities that in reality we do not possess, but in our defense some of us don't know we're doing that. We've just never had the chance to prove otherwise. If the day comes, and I get this crazy wish of mine granted, I hope I find out I'm the person I think I am, and that if I'm faced with a horrifying situation I can handle it, even though I'd be more afraid than I've even been in my entire life. I hope that if there are others involved (and I pray to god with everything I have there isn't because I would never wish this on another person) that I would want to help them, and not run. In my heart of hearts I believe I wouldn't run, but like I said in this case believing doesn't mean anything. In all honesty I should probably knock on wood, and be careful what I wish for, but if fate has this in store for me, then fate wins.

Live & Let Live.

2008-08-11T16:04:00.000-07:00

I move back into my dorm on the 23 and I can't wait. I feel like I'm getting my life back finally. This has been the summer without end. I love being at home, and being with my family, but I'm not used to having this much time on my hands. My favorite part of the summer was getting to work more hours at the video store. It's a job that I've had since I was 16 and I'll be 21 in October. So needless to say I've been there for awhile and I get along and really like everyone I work with. I get to stay on the schedule for the weekends through the school year and I'm pretty jazzed about that. Yeah, I know, strange girl that likes to work, but I do. But I'm very happy to be going back to school. Hopefully this semester will be as good as I hope.

Sleepless.

2008-07-29T05:37:00.000-07:00

It's 5:37 in the morning and I'm still awake. This insomnia is starting to take it's toll on me. I would post something of more substance, but I just don't have the energy. I wish I could sleep.

Carousel.

2008-07-28T01:36:00.000-07:00

Another new layout. I happened across it and thought it was amazing so here it is. I hope you like it. Also I have a new tag board. You don't have to type in your name you can just put guest, also you don't have to put in your website either. Feedback is appreciated. It lets me know if anyone is reading.

I Want To Believe.

2008-07-14T01:48:00.000-07:00

I can't wait for the release of this movie. I've been waiting 6 years for them to do something. The closer it gets to the 25th the more excited I get.

Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?

2008-07-12T21:34:00.000-07:00

why do you let me stay here? by She & Him

Different Decisions .

2008-07-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

The decisions we make shape who we are. They "decide" which path we go down, what people we stick with, what place we live, and so on. But, if one of those past decisions were altered, if you had chosen a different one instead, where would your life be now? I found that I was asking myself that on my walk yesterday. That's probably the reason why I was thinking about paths in the first place. But, anyway, I started to wonder, what if I had decided this, what if I had decided that instead? Would all roads lead me to where I am anyway? Are we slaves to fate? Or do we have more power than we are willing to admit. I like to believe that my own choices, not fate's, lead me to where I am, but then again I like to believe in the power of fate, and that there's something big for me in the works that I don't know about. The way I think about fate is like thinking someone you've never met is going to knock on your front door and present you the keys to a brand new car, but I entertain the notion of it anyway. So of course my mind started to wander a little off track. I like to think that there's something far bigger than us all, because it lightens the seriousness people try to shove out on a daily basis. If we are so small in the grand scheme of things, you really should lighten up. Not that I'm trying to take away from the power that is life, instead I'm saying that if you focus on the serious aspect, you're worrying, and if you're worrying, you're not living, and you should be. I think you'll find that more living happens when it's not trying to be done.

I know I'm where I'm at for a reason, and I know that I helped shape it somewhat. But I also acknowledge fate's role in it. My decision might not have been ones on that grand of scale, but that will change in the future. I plan to work hard, and do the best I can to help as many people as I can. I know that life will keep up with me, and I'm not going to try to force "living", because it's just something that happens in the midst of everything else.

villains.

2008-07-11T12:37:00.001-07:00

I just thought this would be an interesting thing to post.click here for the top 25 villains.

Newness.

2008-07-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

New template for the page. I like it very much, I'm pretty partial to warm colors. Although I've never been to London, it's one of the first places I want to visit as soon as I get the means to travel. It's the only place I would even halfway consider living outside of the US. But I'm an American girl, I know where home is.

On another note, I'm up to my elbows in books. That's not a bad thing, but I believe my friend Becca is planning my demise, because she has been waiting for 2 books I'm reading for a while. I keep getting sidetracked with others.

The books in my pile (haha):

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind
The Other Boleyn Girl by Phillipa Gregory
The Night of the Wolf by Alice Borchardt
The Wolf King (these are the 2 Becca needs) by Alice Borchardt
Picture Perfect by Jodi Picoult
The Crimson Petal and the White by Michel Faber

as a little side note, Alice Borchardt is Anne Rice's sister, if you didn't know.

200 Years Young

2008-06-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

My town is turning 200. In technical terms it's our bicentennial. It's a pretty big deal here and everyone seems to be in the spirit of things. People are even walking around town in "period" dress. If someone that doesn't know whats going on came through town right now they would think we were all crazy, or like the people in M. Night Shymalan's The Village. I live fairly close to main street so I can hear all the festivities from my bedroom. I'm pretty glad I got to see this because I highly doubt I'll be around for the tricentennial. Then again, who knows with the way science is these days.

Sorry.

2008-06-07T21:27:00.000-07:00

For the lack of posts. I've been busy with assorted things. Hopefully I have new material to write about soon. haha.

Mercy

2008-05-18T00:44:00.000-07:00

Home

2008-05-11T10:12:00.001-07:00

I'm home for the summer so there should be more posts than usual coming soon, at least I hope.

Thoughts at 2 AM

2008-05-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

So finals are over, and I survived, but just barely. So far I have 2 A's and 1 B. We'll have to wait and see what happens with the remaining 2. I'm sitting here in my gutted dorm room extremely tired and not looking forward to packing all of this stuff in the truck tomorrow and then having to unpack it when I get home. Blah, blah, sorry for all the complaining, I'm just tired and it seems like this week will never end. I'm going to miss be here at school, as much as I'm going to enjoy no homework or early morning classes, I'm still sad I'm going to be gone for 3 months. Those 3 months feel like they last forever. But I'm going to be happy to spend time with my family, even though I go home often, we don't spend much time together because everyone is so busy all the time. We're going to make up for lost time I guess. I'm really looking forward to next semester, I'm friends with all my roommates and my schedule is set up to where I don't have classes on Fridays. Go me.

On a different note, I watched the movie Wristcutters in intervals whilst cleaning today, and I really enjoyed it, the film is unique and is definitley worth watching, so there's the recommendation for the week I guess. Haha.

I'm Pretty Sure I'm In Hell

2008-05-05T15:51:00.000-07:00

So it's finals week and I'm only one final in and I want to crawl in a hole and never see sunlight again. I'm worried, just really, really worried. I usually am, and I usually have no reason to be but that doesn't stop me from doing it. I'm studying and praying at the same time like I always do. I need to calm down but I can't. I do this every year and I've yet to learn that it doesn't help. I just wish that finals week was over, that I got all good grades and that I was sitting at home doing nothing, because that's all there is left to do. Instead, I'm sitting here in my dorm room up to my eyeballs in Abnormal Psych thinking about my biology final on Wednesday and worrying about my math final I took at 1 today. Like the title suggests, I'm pretty sure I'm in hell.

Side Effects

2008-04-09T02:09:00.000-07:00

I had to delete some of my postings to make this new (very amazing) template work. I am currently in the process of figuring out how to repost them so they should be back soon.

My John McCain post was one that had to be deleted so here's a link to his website. Join the campaign and help make history. I am.

So Very Tired

2008-04-08T12:19:00.000-07:00

As the title of this post would suggest, I'm tired. It's nearing the end of the semester and the end of my sophomore year here in college, finals are looming, and my stress level is through the roof, but what else is new? I'm always terrified that what I'm doing is never good enough, and I don't know why I put this kind of pressure on myself. I have a really good GPA, I work hard, but there's always that fear in the back of my mind that something can and will go wrong.

On top of that I have a laundry list of things I want to do in the next year or so, and it seems like every time I try to do anything worth while, or anything that would warrant a change, it all falls apart. Like I've said before, I hope I'm due for something good to happen. I just want to study abroad, I don't think that's too much to ask. I tried to transfer colleges but, well, that was a catastrophe that obviously resulted in nothing that I wanted. I need to branch out, it feels like fate hates me. People keep telling me that if it were meant to happen it would, but that doesn't make me feel any better, because I want it to happen more than anything. One of my biggest fears is being stuck in the same place my entire life. I do not want that to happen, there's too much, to much to learn, see, and do, to be stationary.

3:30 AM

2008-03-14T03:38:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a few weeks since my last post, since then some things worth going on about have happened. John McCain announced he is the official GOP candidate for the Presidential election, the obviousness of my previous statement is what caused me not to write an epic blog about it. Everyone already new, because he was so far ahead in the polls. Not that I'm not excited, believe you me I'm freakishly ecstatic, I just decided to spare you the redundancy of my telling you what you were plenty aware of. Well, that and the fact my blogger account decided to have a little meltdown on me and not let me open it right when it happened. That's probably the real reason, anyway. One of Hilary Clinton's campaign worker's stepped down, well, she pretty much had to after she made some questionable comments about Barack Obama's race and ability. Willie/Billy Cunningham of 700 WLW is pretty much in the same boat. He's let it die down, which is huge for him because he harps relentlessly. He was a speaker at John McCain's campaign in my birthplace, good ole' Cincinnati, Ohio. He said some things that let inclined John McCain to apologize for him and as a result, well, hell hath no fury like a wounded Willie. Again something I would have been very angry about at the time, but alas the blogger malfunction. Now it too is old news.

In more personal news, I got a pink blackberry pearl, and am currently obsessed with it. My friend Amber and I are going to try to cross the pond next spring to spend a semester abroad in the UK. Wish us luck. All of my other attempts at relocating, even for a little while, have failed so hopefully I'm due. I've been on spring break since last Friday and it's gone by so fast I honestly can't figure out where I put the time. I've done nothing too terribly exciting. No trips across the border for booze and table dancing, no Girls Gone Wild stints. Granted I don't really dance, drink, and I'm one of the most modest and moral people you'll ever come across, but I felt the need to use those colorful examples. I'm going to try to sleep now, which means I'll lie down for 10 minutes and then end up on myspace.

Goodnight for now.

I Am Not Amused

2008-02-21T02:36:00.000-08:00

The New York Times stated online yesterday some unfounded accusations about Senator John McCain. As a result I will no longer be reading their paper and they can stick their story where the sun doesn't shine. Get Proof New York Times, then we'll talk. Click this to read what I'm so angry about.

In Recent News

2008-02-14T21:52:00.000-08:00

Mitt Romney is endorsing John McCain, and Barack Obama is currently winning a ton of states and making Hilary Clinton nervous.

Super Tuesday

2008-02-05T16:44:00.001-08:00

...enough said. Go John McCain go!!!

John McCain Update

2008-01-29T19:36:00.000-08:00

John McCain has won Florida. Here is a link to tell you all about it.

Best Names

2008-01-27T00:14:00.000-08:00

Ok, I know this is random and a bit strange, but I decided to make a list of the best names I've ever come across in tv, books, and everything else. I figured it was a little light hearted and not so serious, and just a good idea. It's an interesting list and I'm up for suggestions. If you know one you think should be on there tell me about it.

1. Invisigoth- The X-Files
2. Optimus Prime- Transformers
3. Edgler Forman Vess- Dean Koontz's Intensity
4. Hannibal Lecter - The Silence of the Lambs (book and movie)
5. Keyser Soze- The Usual Suspects
6. Draco Malfoy- J.K Rowling's Harry Potter Series
7. Bellatrix Lestrange- J.K Rowling's Harry Potter Series
8. Inigo Montoya- The Princess Bride
9. Lex Luthor- Superman
10. Sirius Black- J.K Rowling's Harry Potter Series
11. Luna Lovegood- J.K Rowling's Harry Potter Series
12. Fox Mulder- The X-Files
13. Kobayashi- The Usual Suspects
14. Aslan-The Chronicles of Narnia
15. Jack Sparrow- Pirates of the Caribbean
16. Cutler Beckett- Pirates of the Caribbean
17. Helena Bonham Carter- Actress
18. Edward Scissorhands-Edward Scissorhands
19. Humphrey Bogart- Actor
20. Lord Voldemort- J.K Rowling's Harry Potter Series
21. Han Solo- Star Wars
22. Artemis- Greek Mythology
23. Calypso- Greek Mythology
25. Ichabod Crane- Sleepy Hollow
26. Agamemnon- Greek Mythology/History/Literature
27. Cymbeline- Shakespearean Play
28. Commissioner Gordon- Batman
29. Rogue- X-Men
30. Christabel- Poem by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
31. Juno MacGuff- Juno
32. Vincent Price- Actor
33. William Wilberforce- Historical Figure (Amazing Grace)
34. Sir Winston Churchill- Former British Prime Minister
35. Franklin Delano Roosevelt- Former President of the US
36. Cornelius Fudge- JK Rowling's Harry Potter Series
37. Scooby Doo- Cartoon Character
38. Balthazar Getty- Actor
39. Moon Bloodgood- Actress
40. Conan O'Brien- Talk Show Host

Change His Stars

2008-01-22T14:09:00.000-08:00

Heath Ledger passed away today at the young age of 28. Different people are going to remember him different ways. He's always going to be William Thatcher from A Knight's Tale to me. May he rest in peace.

"Well perhaps angels have no names, only beautiful faces." ~William Thatcher, A Knight's Tale

John McCain Update

2008-01-20T00:50:00.001-08:00

John McCain has won South Carolina. Click here to learn more about it.

John McCain Update

2008-01-16T02:16:00.000-08:00

Well, McCain lost in Michigan to Mitt Romney, but that's ok. There's still South Carolina. Here's a link to tell you more about it.

Be Back Soon

2008-01-13T02:20:00.000-08:00

I return to school today so the posts will be slowing down. I'll still keep you updated, just not as much.

A Rundown

2008-01-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

A lot has happened in the past few days. I found out just how uncomfortable my parents, my father in particularly, are about the prospect of me moving to Boston. It looks like I'm going to have to put the breaks on my plan. I'm not giving up moving into the city all together, in fact I'm giving up at all. Instead I came back with a counter offer of Chicago. It's in the midwest, it's closer than Boston, and it's cheaper because it's not on the East Coast. My dad didn't have a "meltdown" so that's looking like more of a possibility. I'm still going to live in Boston, and I assured my mom that I wasn't settling for something I didn't want. Although Boston in undoubtedly my favorite city do to it's history along with a few other things, Chicago has always been in the back of my mind. It's a city far enough away to where I doubt I'll know anyone, but it's close enough so if something happens my parents can get to me. It's strange how things work out, but I just can't move to a city so expensive and so far away, not with the way it makes my parents feel. I've never been that selfish. So I'm going to file the dream of living in Boston away, and it will happen when it's meant to. I know where I'm supposed to be and I'll get there one day, just not right now. So until then there's another great city, Chicago. I'm going to explore the possibilities with that.

I Need An Easy Button

2008-01-10T18:36:00.000-08:00

I go back to school on Sunday, my long winter break will finally be over. On Monday I start my new classes, and I will call Boston because their break ends then too. I can't help but be nervous that it won't work out. I really, really want it to and I hope everyday that it's not just some hopeless pipe dream that I have. I want bigger, not necessarily better, things that I can't get where I'm at. I know where I belong and I never imagined that it would be so hard just getting there. All I want to to is move to another state, not the moon, it shouldn't be this difficult. I can honestly say that I don't want for a lot, but this, in spite of my Three Wishes post, is something I want more than anything else. I just want to live in Boston, I don't think that's a lot to ask for but evidently I'm very wrong. I'm just flat sick of imagining what it will be like to live there. I just worry all the time, even though I KNOW that's where I'm supposed to be. I wish I had a Staples easy button.

John McCain Update

2008-01-09T01:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm going to try not to get too excited but, John McCain has won the New Hampshire primary for the GOP with 37%. Also in a shocking comeback Hilary Clinton beat out Barack Obama for the Democrats. Here's a link to tell you all about it.

Three Wishes

2008-01-08T01:02:00.000-08:00

If you were out walking in the woods one day and tripped over a lamp to find that a genie called it home, what would you wish for when it popped out and said it would grant you the three things you desire the most? Would you wish for material things? Physical perfection? True love? Or even the stereotypical "world peace"? Would you know immediately what to ask for or would you have to think about it for a few days? After you wished for it do you think you regret it? Do you think that you would anger the genie by wishing for the only wish that is off limits, more wishes? I suppose that seems like a lot of questions to answer, but in reality it's just one; if you had three wishes what would you wish for? I often mull this over in my mind. If I had the opportunity to wish for anything I wanted three times I really have no idea what I would wish for. Every time I think I do I weigh the pros and cons and think of what could go wrong. Genies are always portrayed as tricksters that take wishes literally instead of what they know you really mean. Like the episode of The X-Files that I saw where Mulder wished for, you guessed it, world peace and the Gen got rid of every human on the planet except for him because that is the only way it would be possible. The wish that I always go back to is bringing my grandma back to life. Having her back is the thing that I want the most, but I wonder what would happen if I tinkered with fate like that. I wonder if she would even want to come back to earth after being in a place like heaven. I don't know if I could be so selfish as to take her out of paradise because I miss her so much I can't stand it sometimes. There are also times where I think I'll wish to be successful, to be the best FBI agent or writer that ever existed, then I realize that defeats the purpose of living. If you already know you're going to be the best what is the point of even trying? The third and final thing that I think I'd wish for is love. The kind of love you see fictionalized and get mad at because you don't think it's real, that it's really false advertising. That's no good either. Love isn't something to wish for, it's something that happens on it's own that no one has the ability to control, except maybe Aphrodite but I don't think she's very good at it either. Love is a spontaneous emotion that just is and therefore can't be wished because then it's pointless, and you'll have to wonder your entire life, "If it wasn't for the wish would this person still love me?" I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I ever just so happened to come across a Genie (or Gen) I wouldn't wish for anything. I think that's their purpose, to teach people that they shouldn't want for anything. That life is about not knowing and having to work for what we want the most, and that sometimes the things we covet are the things we're not supposed to have. If you already know the lesson then you're going to save yourself a lot of agony. Then again, maybe I'm wrong, who knows? I guess we'll all just have to wait for someone to find themselves a Genie.

John McCain Update

2008-01-07T01:58:00.000-08:00

He is leading the GOP polls and the only thing in his way is Obama. I'm praying harder than I've ever prayed in my life that the people in New Hampshire know true presidential material when they see it. Here is a video on the poll results as of now. I'm working hard to spread the word in my corner of the world Senator, good luck!

New Ending

2008-01-06T20:03:00.001-08:00

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."~ Maria Robinson

A Sound Of Thunder

2008-01-05T03:35:00.000-08:00

So it's 6:30 (that's a.m by the way) and I have yet to go to sleep. I've been lying in bed wondering, of all the things to wonder about, what would life be like in "my" house had I never been born? On a smaller level, I know that would make Joey the oldest and Chase would still be the youngest, but not 3rd in the order. I know that would mean that Joey had the biggest room in the house and more responsibility. I also know that they would be really bored with no big sister to pick on. Going deeper, I wonder if my family would live in the same house, or even the same town had I never been born. The first year of my life I lived in two totally different places. It was the arrival of my brother and the fact that we were growing up that caused my parents to move out of the city into the country. I wonder if they would feel like something was missing in their lives or if they would feel like everything is whole, that nothing is gone. On an even bigger level I guess that would also mean that the world would be different as well. No, I'm not arrogant nor do I think I'm this epic human being (yet, haha), but I believe the non-arrival of someone would make a difference, be it big or small, there would be one. Like in A Sound of Thunder when the butterfly dies and it alters the course of history and the world forever. Something as small as a butterfly changed everything. I guess my insomnia riddled mind is over-worked but it made sense in my head, whether it does or not on this screen is another matter. But I guess it's something to think on; what would your own small world and the world at large be like with out your presence in it? Do you think it would be better, worse or indifferent? I personally don't know what it would be like, and I never want to find out.

Mockingbird

2008-01-04T01:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when the wind picks up
And scatters the dust off the ground
I think I can hear the sound
Of the truth, the way it’s meant to be
The way that Atticus told me
But the music comes and goes
And leaves me all alone
It’s been so long since I’ve heard
It’s a sin to kill a mockingbird

The leaves tumble by
The trees stand in their beautiful lie
You would never know the secrets they keep
It’s just enough to fool the weak
I can’t help but to realize, to see
How things pretend to be happy
We’ve all grown older now
But still the same
I don’t want to know how
To play this game

Sometimes it takes a child’s mind
To make you realize how far you are behind
Lesson heard but never learned
An entire town gets burned
Foolish girl you tell a lie
I dare you to say it to the sky
And when justice comes
And you know it will
Are you going to be lying still

It’s been so long since I’ve heard
It’s a sin to kill a mockingbird

Lately

2008-01-03T12:50:00.000-08:00

Well, I made it through finals obviously with my 3.6 GPA intact. I now have about a week left until I go back to start my fourth semester of college. I need to call Boston and see what's going on with that. Hopefully everything will work out and I can stop harping on it and just be there. If I do I will start posting mass amounts of pictures on this blog and probably will anyway. I'm supposed to be getting a digital camera so you've been warned. I really want to live in Boston, I'm ready for the city and ready to get out on my own for real. I'm not even worried about being able to make it, at least I have the courage to do it, that's how I'm looking at it. I know where I belong...anyway, there I go harping on it again. Obsessions are never healthy, unless they're with vegetables. I'm still not sleeping and that's something I'm going to have to work on because it's really starting to catch up with me. One of my friends asked me, "How do you even function?" my answer, "Sheer willpower." Ha. I actually have four book ideas bouncing around inside my head and I'm making progress despite a couple instances of writers block. I hope to get published, it would be amazing to see New York Times Bestseller on top of something I wrote, but I suppose I'm getting a little ahead of myself considering I'm just hoping I can even finish them. Hopefully I can. I've even told friends instead of keeping it to myself so they can ask me about it and I can't just put it away and forget about it. My next semester isn't as crazy as this past one so I should have so time to do the things that I enjoy like my blog and my writing.

P.S I will have more poems/songs posted shortly. I've copyrighted them I just have to post them :]

Foamy

2008-01-02T01:58:00.000-08:00

According to my friends, I have Foamy rants. This isn't a rant per say but it's funny none the less. Even if the British squirrel calls us "Yanks" and says we all have pill popping problems, which isn't true, but haha anyway.

Happy New Year!!!

2008-01-01T13:17:00.000-08:00

2008? I'm still stuck in 2004.

Anyway my New Year's Resolutions and plans in no particular order:

1. Finish book(s)
2. Compile my poetry
3. Keep up my GPA
4. Get John McCain elected President
5. Sleep!
6. Move to Boston
7. Banish Stress
8. Study abroad in Ireland
9. Visit Grammie
10. Save more money

Here's to looking at 2008, may everyone's resolutions come true.

Oh, No Not I, I Will Survive...I Think.

2007-12-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

So it's Thursday of finals week here at school. It's my last day and I have 4 exams down and one to go. I'm so stressed out I can't stand it. But I get like this every time midterms and finals roll around. I'm a nervous wreck, what can I say. I officially haven't sleep for 2 nights in a row and I'm so tired I can't stand it. My dad told me that all of this stress will pay of in the long run and I hope he's right. When I'm not studying, I'm writing. I started a book when I was 16 and have yet to finish it 4 years later. It's probably because I keep erasing everything and starting over. It just never seems good enough. So I decided 2 nights ago that I'm just going to write and have to be ok with wherever that takes me. They say first instincts are the best so I'll go on mine and see what happens. I'm not going to say what it's about but it is what I would consider an epic. I'm very excited and I can't wait to see if maybe one day it will be published. Right now it's just a diversion from real life and entertainment during bouts of severe insomnia. But maybe it'll turn into something I can really be proud of. Until then I must focus on finals...ugh.

Sorry...

2007-11-15T02:16:00.000-08:00

The likelihood of me posting anything of substance for November is pretty bleak. I'm just too busy, and it all would be repetitive nonsense anyway. I'm following the presidential race and you should be too. Go Senator McCain!!! I'll make up for my lack of posting later.

Left Out

2007-10-20T23:32:00.000-07:00

Recently it seems that every girl I went to high school with is either, in a serious relationship, engaged, or married, and I just graduated in '06. I can't help but feel a little left out. Like maybe there is some secret meeting or club that I'm never invited to. It's very strange to see everyone that I've known pretty much all my life change so quickly. Meanwhile, I'm at school pursuing my education, thinking about law school, and contemplating transferring to Boston, Mass. I know that I'm not doing the wrong thing, in fact I'm doing the right thing by furthering my education and whatnot, I just feel that somehow, somewhere along the way I didn't pick up that valuable piece of information everyone else seems to be so well read on. I've been so headstrong about my future I've paid absolutely no attention to the present and I believe I am paying for that now. I know there is no way to make up for lost time but maybe I can make the rest of my years worthwhile. I'm only 20, I hope I have the time that suggests. It's not that I want to be married at this age, I'm just wondering if I skipped the part where I was told it was a requirement. As for the relationship thing, I'll probably be the old lady at the end of the street with 57 cats all named Bob. But they say that good things come to those who wait, I guess I'll keep on waiting.

20 Things

2007-10-11T17:26:00.000-07:00

Idea from Maria.

1. I am a Republican (okay I've mentioned that, but I don't think I've mentioned I'm a maverick Republican)
2. I don't hate math, it hates me. Well, actually I hate it too.
3. I read about 5 books a week along with an assortment of articles, poems, and short stories.
4. My favorite type of book is historical fiction.
5. I thought about being a History teacher for about 3 seconds then realized I didn't have the patience for it.
6. When I walk into a library I immediately feel like I belong.
7. I'm extremely proud of my heritage.
8. I am a walking encyclopedia for movies. When my friends have a question about one they ask me.
9. I am very well educated on Greek, Roman, and Norse Mythology.
10. When I was in 5th grade one of my poems was published in a book. It was the worst poem I have ever written.
11. My favorite artists are Vincent Van Gogh and Johannes Vermeer, and Andy Warhol.
12. Before I wanted to be involved in the justice system I wanted to be an Archaeologist.
13. I hate little boats.
14. I can cuss in Italian thanks to my Uncle Louie.
15. My favorite actor is Kevin Spacey. The man is talented.
16. My favorite T.V shows are House, Law & Order CI, Monk, Nancy Grace, Anderson Cooper 360, Forensic Files, Man vs. Wild, Ghost Hunters, and The Soup.
17. I have two tattoos, one on the back of my left ankle and one around my right ankle.
18. My middle name is Charity, my mother's middle name is Faith, and my grandmother's middle name is Hope.
19. I collect black and white pictures and rosaries.
20. I believe in ghosts, but only if Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson say they are real.

REMEMBER SEPTEMBER 11TH

2007-09-11T14:13:00.001-07:00

I can't believe its been six years...It feels like it happened just yesterday. I still remember what I was wearing.

Calm Before The Storm

2007-08-11T01:31:00.000-07:00

So here it is just hours before I'm set to get up to start moving back into my dorm room and I'm still awake (shocker there). My mom already started crying a week ago, possibly even before that. I hate leaving her, I wish I could stay a teenager and forever live in her house as a child because I know she would love nothing more, but I can't. In just a couple months I'll be 20, out of my teen years forever. I want to grow up, I don't have a Peter Pan complex, I just hate seeing my mother cry. I hope she knows that I love her and I can't stand it when I can't walk downstairs and talk to her face to face when I want. I have a bad feeling that this year in school is going to be a lonely one for me because there were quite a few bridges burned last semester before the summer. I have no desire to repair them. So I'm going to have to find new friends and maybe just maybe I'll pull my head out of my ass long enough to find a boyfriend. It's a strange feeling I have tonight, I'm happy to be going into my sophomore year, sad to be leaving home, and angry because I have to put up with the girls that weren't there for me when I needed them. Should be fun times.